Getting Insulin

You would think that being able to get to where the medicine is in these circumstances would be miraculous enough, but it really didn’t solve all my problems – the financial barrier was still formidable. All the mobility in the world won’t help you when a system is working against you.
Someone kindly agreed to take a few minutes out of their very busy day to send me a moneygram for insulin at Wal-Mart. I had never needed a reference number before to retrieve moneygrams, but this time after a long wait in line, the clerk asked me to step aside and fill out my form while she waited on another customer, and then finally told me she needed the reference number which I didn’t have to get the moneygram.
I went back to the library ask for the reference number by email. No reply. By 8:30 (the pharmacy closes at 9), I had to leave the computer and go back to Wal-mart. I tried again with a new clerk, in case there was a personal problem with the interaction – the new clerk proceeds in police-like fashion to collect more information from me without giving me anything in return. Finally, I go and explain my problem to the people at the pharmacy – they said nothing could be done. I go and explain my problem to the manager – she said nothing could be done. No medicine, and an emergency (my blood sugar is over 600 by now) and the world cannot solve a problem without a reference number. The pharmacy is closing.
I start soliciting people to use their cell phone to call for the reference number – a handful of “no’s” in spite of the fact that I have informed people that this is a medical emergency, finally a couple came through, and with a 1 minute phone call I got the number.
I return to the service desk, and this time, a woman is in front of me, and will not let me pass in spite of the fact that I tell them that this is a medical emergency. She proceeds to take out the longest possible form at the desk, and fill it out in front of the clerk who will not process my while she fills out the form, despite the fact that I have informed everyone that this is a medical emergency. The woman could care less – with deafening insensitivity to my medical crisis, she ignores my distress, and slowly continues to block my access to care. She was I believe an undercover cop, at some point asking not for police, but for “security” to come and take me away because I was “psycho”. Not psycho, in medical distress…like having a baby in the line, while someone is in front of you, and unable to get the person to move, so that you can get medical care. They did this so that it would be recorded on the camera. Assholes.
She wanted to have me miss the deadline for the pharmacy, so that I couldn’t get my medicine – 1 minute left…A manager finally shows up opening another line. By the time, I get to the pharmacy, it had closed, and I was crying. The pharmacist sold me the insulin, but wouldn’t give me a syringe to inject it with. He said it was individual store policy. I pulled out my 3CC broken syringe (the plastic had cracked), and injected about 20 units in front of him.
As I drove off, disgusted with the system that wants me dead, I pull over, too weak to continue and very, very thirsty. I open the window to throw up, but don’t. I let the dogs out, and just let them run for a while – they were due. All night long, after injesting about 2L of fluid, every hour, I was up urinating, feeling bloated as I rehydrated from the severe dehydration that had set in. It otherwise would have been an IV. My back hurt where my kidneys were. The next day I had floaters in both of my eyes from the microaneurisyms that ruptured. I was probably lucky not to have a major stroke. This is why diabetics go blind. Hatred does not begin to cover the feeling that sits inside me.
People want suffering. They want Jesus on a cross – not once, but over and over and over again.

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