A lot of resolutions that I started to work on last night. I’ll post them, but I realistically, my focus now has to be moving out of this situation of coercion. No self-respecting person can tolerate being treated like an imbecile or insane person when in fact one simply wants to exercise one’s right to freedom, dignity, respect, self-fulfilment, and good conscience. I have not intentionally hurt anyone except to the extent that my ability, intelligence, and free will conflict with the expectation of others that I be subjugated.
So, I’ll quickly sketch my ideas for resolutions…then work on moving on.
Spend 1 month catching up on last year.
Spend 1 month writing book. It is a full time job, that requires complete immersion. That would have been the end of the winter, the vegetables would be grown, and it would have been a healthier time to move on.
1. New health and health education goals (translate physiology lessons to dog physiology).
a) More specifically, need to diagram out comparable anatomy to the anatomy quizzes that I have done on humans onto dog pictures. Write the java script for the interactive quiz.
b) Spend time focussing on each of the following 6 areas, incorporating anatomy lessons:
2) New language goals. New goals for Hebrew and Spanish. Add another language: Greek, Swahili, Chinese, or Arabic. I’m trying to go with Chinese, but depending on the level of difficulty accessing keyboard fonts (typing), and oral learning materials, I may switch over to another language like Greek. Given my current issues with subjugation, although intellectually interesting to me, and interesting from a religious philosophy point of view, arabic is not my first choice. Maybe at a later point, I will be less sensitive to gender issues. I like the democratic tradition of the Greeks. I already kind of speak 4 european languages though (English, French, Spanish, German). Chinese would be nice because it has a different language format. Swahili would be a great introduction to Africa, but realistically, I don’t think that I will ever have the opportunity to go there, so unless I get some pen-pals, I wouldn’t have much of a chance to use it probably. Still, not ruling it out though.
3) Trip goals: learn and live among an indian tribe for at least 1 month. Cross cultural comparison with another country if possible.
4) Environmental goals:
a) Visit and write about 6 endangered species.
b) Do 4 plant experiments.
Have stable cauliflower, cabbage, collards, and broccoli growing. Good confidence in the cauliflower and cabbage. Have planted seeds of green beans, tomatoes, yellow squash, and carrots. Seedlings are not yet here. Expecting a hard freeze tomorrow night. Everything has to be protected and the smaller stuff brought inside. Need to work on plant anatomy and physiology (botany) so that I can ask an intelligent question and design an interesting experiment.
c) Develop alternative energy.
d) Plant more, drive less.
e) Discover 1 new bird every week. With calls, pictures, info.
f) Identify 1 constellation every month. I saw one star (Sirius) of canis major last night as the coyotes howled. It was visible west and south of orion’s belt. It wasn’t the clearest night, and the stars are probably more visible in other areas with less development.
5) Dog rescue and training goals?
I think come is probably the most important command for a dog, and yet I have enormous problems training spin. he is part chow, and like a cat, really has his own mind. he has started to cuddle more in the past few days as he realizes that his mom is depressed because we can’t go anywhere. he probably thinks i am sick. if i develop the training goals, i guess i will refocus on come working more slowly and carefully with him. my brother thankfully bought me a 44 pound bag of dog food for the dogs, so they won’t starve.
6) Artistic goals
a) write symphony
7) Philanthropic goals
e) elderly: this one will probably focus on mobility for the elderly given how much I am suffering from a lack of mobility right now.
8) Personal goals
1. avoid interacting with psychologically unhealthy situations. If I am not treated respectfully, don’t waste my time.
2. cleaner, thinner, healthier
b) Family (current)
Try to form new friendships with diverse people (native american, gay/lesbian, oriental (especially chinese), muslim).
d) Family (future)
I would like to find a partner and raise a family. For me, this would be someone who is relaxed and loves dogs, and probably pretty involved in their profession. Since I don’t think I can sustain a pregnancy, I am probably looking at in vitro to have a baby with someone else carrying the baby, or else looking to complete someone else’s family whose partner is missing. I am not looking for a “strong masculine presence in my life”, or to be rescued, but would like an intellectual peer – someone who loves to discover, and can respect boundaries, and the fact that I am probably mostly pretty introverted with my own projects too.
I like to cook, explore, write, and work on projects (building, computer, electrical, and mechanical). But mostly, I want my own family – with children.
9) Building work:
a) computer programming:
need to work on internet access with a linux box, building a faster more stable system. Also need to work on getting C programming to work on a linux distribution. My current version does not support either gcc, or winegcc, or cc. If I can get this to work, then I can do things like put a random number generator into my backup program, that allows the computer to randomly select which goals to work on on a given day if I lack inspiration for focussing on a particular few. It will also let me implement the java script programming for translating the anatomy programs to dogs.
b) engine work, transmission work, exhaust work
Right now, I am still without transportation. Staying several miles from internet access. This is presenting several problems. I cleaned the battery up and brushed all the connections:
I also replaced the terminal post.
When that did not help, I took out the starter and battery again and had them tested at Advance Autoparts. The starter spun great, the battery also tested fine, but they went ahead and changed the battery to remove any question since taking the starter in and out is a lot of work. For some reason, although it need not be a difficult task, it seems almost like I am having to move the flywheel to get the starter aligned properly. Alignment to put the starter bolts in is extremely strained. Getting the back bolt threaded, one can only thread the front bolt if the back bolt is in on about 2 threads. Threading the front one, sometimes causes the back one to fall out. They have to be very very carefully crossthreaded, at slow increments. So, I am left with the rebuilt “new” starter cable which was copper, and is now aluminum. It had worked, although not stellar, for about 4 days before it stopped working. Going back to the old starter cable wrapped with electrical tape would be a possibility, but the alternator wire was cut too close to the lead, there is less than a 1/4″. I would have to rebuild at the lead I guess. I guess that something is wrong with the rebuilt cable. The electrical connection is simply not good somewhere. I turn on the ignition key half way, and the inner panel barely lights up. Currently, the starter doesn’t even pass the first of 3 levels: solenoid click, extension, turning. There is no click, although there has been in the past when it has not turned.
My brother bought me the other rotor for the brakes ($59) and also some groceries ($60), dog food ($30), and a phone card ($30) (I have no ability to buy anything), so I will probably finish the brake job tomorrow, putting in new pads on the passenger side. I had wanted to see how everything drove with uneven pads, but since I can’t get it started, I’ll focus on those problems that can be solved. It was really generous of my brother to help me out: he spent a few hours yesterday morning driving me around, and paying for stuff.
Realistically, solving some of the harder mechanical problems will involve immobilizing the truck, dropping the engine, transmission, and exhaust, in one shot, and one by one rebuilding these parts. This requires gaskets, and machining (maybe on the engine) and/or welding (on the exhaust), that in turn require money. A year’s worth of mechanical work – at least. I think I am looking at needing alternative transportation while I work on this. If I could find a similar truck (maybe even older) that needs parts that I have on this truck, I could maybe rig something by swapping parts while I work on the truck, getting something for pretty cheap. The alternative is to go with something more energy efficient – but I definitely don’t want anything that is computerized. I like the raw feel of rolling up my windows by hand, and a carborator. No remote entry, or anything like that.
I found this one, but it is pretty far away. I have to be able to sleep in it. This one works for sleeping, but doesn’t really have the ext cab for the dogs to sleep in it, or a motor. I did not make rent this month. Still, reminds me today that I need to give my dogs ivermectin for heartworm protection. Done.