Stunned, but Trying to Move Forward

I finally got a little money to buy some groceries and dog food – also a little gas.  We got a little rain, and that cooled things off a bit.  We had the first day that was under 90 in a couple of months.  My foot wound finally closed last Saturday, which means I can wear tennis shoes again, and exercise.

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Now, I’m dealing with another wound mid-calf from wasp stings.  They itch a lot, and for a long time.

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I have a nest of about 20 wasps on my back porch right now, and I spent a little time trying to catch them today.  At one point, I had about 12 in the container.  There were a few standing guard outside of the container, and observing their warlike flutter as I approached, I left the container alone for a bit.  When I came back, all but 2 had escaped.  I’ll give it another try, maybe putting an attractant out there (syrup?), wetting the lip of the plastic container to make a better seal, and then immediately covering and removing the container when I catch them.  These guys look like yellow jackets.  Nope.  I’m pretty sure that these gals are the much less populous paper wasps.

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It’s been hard to stay motivated without resources to explore ideas.  I am inspired by Shakespeare, and I wake up wanting to forge ahead with a new path, and yet, for some reason, I feel drugged, to the point of being sleepy 15 hours a day.  Someone may have doped me with psychiatric meds.  I surely don’t need them, but in some states, they seem to make housing, freedom, and public circulation contingent upon them being forced unknowingly on me.  And, God forbid, I show the slightest functionality or ability, they are quick to shove them on me so that they make REALLY sure that the only way I can appear to function is with them.  I suppose it is all about “the war on things that scare us”, and someone’s brain or appearance being different is “socially scary”.  In addition to social repression (slander), economic repression, political repression (undocumented work), there is also this medicated means of repression that can act jointly with weight issues to force immobility.  Many psychiatric meds do make people overweight.

I pull out my day_sculptor program (that I wrote), and the computer comes up with a list for the day’s activities, that I modify slightly to what is below:

1.  building
2.  cleaning
3.  personal relationship activities
4.  environmental work
5.  studying
6.  exploration
7.  dog work
8.  exercising

I ran the program a couple of times being careful to select a run that had exercise, cleaning, and personal relationship activities in it.  Some of the runs also came up with world improvement as an option.  Although I didn’t really pursue this activity, I’ll put in a little writing on the Manning case in this context.  As far as I have heard (I did not analyze his statement carefully), he expressed remorse for the harm that his actions may have caused to the United States, and a belief that he should have acted within the system.  Pause for realistic assessment of how feasible this was.  I think his statement was clear on 2 points: 1) He’s a patriot.  2) He used his little time in public speech to show that a transgendered person (whether he is or not) may feel like they are in jail for the rest of their given gendered life.  It’s not me, but I thought his artistic expression of solidarity with their plight was touching.

So, that said, I’m not a big proponent of classified information leaks, and personally, I would rather not know some of the things that were apparently said.  As a general rule, there is probably too much information out there (for everyone).  I don’t know how we can go back to a calmer, less invaded space.

With a little money, I get some phone minutes, and make my family phone calls to check 3 off the list.  A couple of exciting, harrowing hours dealing with the wasps this morning counts for 4.  A pile of unfolded laundry, grocery shopping and some dishes counts for 2.

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For the building activity, I start with the guitar problem.  I have a hard time keeping it tuned.  And it’s missing a key.  So picking it up involves finding pliers, and painfully adjusting it so that I can play it for a song before it is again out of key and needs readjustment.  I decide to try to make a key for part of my building activity.  Everything that could go wrong, did.  The drill motor started to smoke.  The drill bit broke.  The sawzall lost its blade, and the tool that is needed to retighten it can’t be found.  When I finally make a piece with a hole, it is slightly too big because it is the smallest bit that I have, it turns around the key instead of with it.

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The outdoor outlet I use, requires me to stand right over the wasp’s nest, so I’m doing everything inside…making lots of saw dust.  I’m fighting every urge to close my eyes (sometimes unsuccessfully).

After a nap, appreciating the cooler air and the gas, I headed out to explore the bayou a little on my bike with the pups, for activities 6 and 7.

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The dogs and I are pretty out of shape after Ramadan, and we settle for 2 very scenic miles along the western edge of Buffalo Bayou

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visited by 3 rabbits, 7 or so squirrels, some egrets and some mockingbirds,100_3243

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before heading into town for a lecture on archeological sites that are at risk in Houston on the Bayou.  As the sites were discussed, I found myself wondering about the historic use of the Bayou.  When was it last used for drinking water by humans?  Obviously it still is by the animals.  It has been used for sewage removal prior to sewage treatment facilities.  Is there a geological record in the sediment of the initiation of sewage treatment and/or public sewage systems?  Could one identify for example a cholera outbreak in this record, or mosquito-associated yellow fever?

100_3249I’m performing at about 20% here.  I estimate a 40% loss in drive and performance due to the drugged feeling, and a 20% loss due to heat, health and weight issues, and a 20% loss from lack of resources to accomplish goals that I set for myself.  It sometimes helps to know where the problem is.

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